Alone in the Dark
by Charlie300895
Summary: Sam is taken by an enemy that he cannot hope to resist. Will Dean make it to him in time? What are the consequences they must face after one of them is changed irreversibly.
1. In the Beginning

Drip,drip,drip.

Sam let out a small groan and tried to bury his head further into his arms.

Drip, drip, drip.

The noise of the water seemed to echo loudly, each drop amplified in Sam ears, aching his pounding head.

"Deeeean," moaned Sam. Must have left the damn shower on again.

Sam shifted his arms to find his phone in the darkness, but when he did he heard a strange metallic clanking noise. Almost like the sound of chains. He moved them again, and again heard the same noise. What the hell is that?

And now that he thought of it, since when did he have to move both arms at the same time. Not only that, but it felt as if he was laid on a hard floor, instead of the semi- soft, lumpy motel mattress.

Sam attempted to open his eyes but had to close them almost immediately against the bright light, which felt as if it were going to burn his eyes right out of his skull. When Sam finally managed to open his eyes, he could see the room he was in.

The room was all white, with two bright lights shining from the ceiling, and on the far side of it was a shiny metal door, alike to one you would find in an abattoir which separates the outside, from the hanging corpses of animals. The room wasn't overly large, but the bareness of the place made it seem larger than it was. The only thing the room contained was himself, and whatever the hell was making that awful dripping sound.

As Sam sat up against the hard wall he saw that his hands were held together with a pair of large, old-fashioned handcuffs. Very heavy and very strong. Connected to them was a large chain ,which in turn, was anchored through a metal loop in the wall. He pulled against them once, twice, but there was no way it was going anywhere any time soon.

A creaking noise pulled Sam's attention towards the door, that opened suddenly opened with a large bang as it crashed into the wall behind it. And in walked a small, plump man.

"Hello Sam. How are you feeling?" He asked, his voice pleasant and polite.

Against the still agonising brightness in the room, Sam saw that the man's face was what could only be described as rat like.

"Wha-" Sam swallowed against the desert like dryness in his mouth and attempted to speak again. "What's going on? Who are you?"

"The answer to the first question you will find out soon. But the second question you should already know." He then did a small turn, as if by looking at all of him then Sam would suddenly remember. But he did not, and Sam stared at the man blankly.

"Let me refresh your memory then, Sam Winchester." The calmness in his voice had gone, and with it menace and anger creeped not only into his voice, but and onto his face too. "My name is Joshua, and 6 months ago you and your brother snuck into my family's home and killed them, including my wife. Your brother chopped her head off her shoulders while she slept and there was nothing I could do to stop it. "

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh yes you do Sammy boy. You and your brother made a mistake that day though. You didn't kill me." The menace of this statement made Sam falter slightly. But he wasn't going to let this monster, whatever the hell he was, think that he was scared of him.

"Oh I see, I should be scared of you should I? Maybe Dean and I didn't bother killing you because you're not worth our time. And us killing your monster wife is no less than she deserved." Sam sneered.

Joshua did not react well to Sam's speech, and snarled. Sam saw a second set of teeth descend over his original ones. Vampire then, _that's all I need. _

"I should kill you Sam Winchester, but that would ruin my plan. I'm going to make you wish you were dead before the day is through. And by the time you get back to your brother there's not going to be anything left of his baby brother." Joshua let out a maniacal laugh.

"For fucks sake quit your monologging already." Sam wasn't going to let him think for one second that he was intimidating. "Are you gonna tell me what your 'evil plan' is, or are you just waiting for me to die of boredom?" Commented Sam sarcastically.

"Hahahaha. You are brave aren't you Sammy, but you see my plan has already begun, the wheels are already in motion and there's nothing you can do to stop it." There was a sureness in Joshua's voice that made Sam question himself. "Can't you tell?"

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about..." Denied Sam, but he had lost some of his previous confidence and a feeling a dread wormed it's way into his heart.

"It's simple really, I gave you some of my blood." Joshua did say it as if it really was simple, but Sam's heart seemed to freeze in his chest.

"You... You're lying." Sam moaned and shook his head widely.

"Why do you think the light is hurting your eyes so much? Why can you hear water dripping from outside? And why do you feel so damn hungry?" Joshua leered at Sam, and then let out a delighted chuckle when Sam continued to shake his head in denial.

"I haven't drank any blood, I'm not like you, and I never will be!" Sam was shouting now, his sudden change in circumstances were starting to overwhelm him.

But there was still the logical side of Sam telling himself that if he didn't drink any human blood then he wouldn't turn. They had cured Dean, they could do the same with him if he just held on. Dean was coming for him, it wouldn't be long.

"You will Sammy boy, soon. You won't be able to resist it. In fact, I got a present for you." Joshua then twirled around and left the room.

As soon as the door slammed closed Sam started hyperventilating. Who knew what Joshua was up to, but it was obviously no good. He was panicking, because he knew there would only be so long he could hold on, he wasn't as strong as Dean. He'd proven that fact over and over in the past.

Sam also felt an unquenchable rage. Why wasn't he strong enough to stop himself being captured? And how did they let a vamp get away?

_Dammit Sam get your head together._ Sam needed to think of a plan and fast, he couldn't pin all of his hopes in Dean getting there in time.

He took some deep breaths and pushed himself into a standing position, although he had to slightly hunch due to the short length of the chains. However, he knew he would still be taller than that rat bastard.

30 minutes later the door opened again. And in walked Joshua, but this time he wasn't alone.

Joshua held a young girl by her long, dark brown hair. Like him she was having to slump due to Joshua's height, or lack thereof. It was hard to tell anything about her apart from the fact that she had probably been snatched during a jog or run due to her clothes. Sam could also hear he crying quietly.

But more than the sound of crying, he could hear her heart beating wildly in her chest.

The sound sent a huge pang of hunger into Sam, and he could feel himself salivating at the smell of her. He could smell her blood and hear her heart rapidly beating her blood around her body.

Without any conscious decision Sam started pulling against the chains, trying to get closer to the girl.

Joshua watched him with interest and then smiled at his antics.

"Eager to meet our friend Sammy boy?" Joshua asked with a raised eyebrow and a low chuckle. He pulled at the girls hair, which elicited a low moan of pain.

"Don't be rude and tell him your name." He demanded of her, then while looking at Sam he said "kids these day eh? No manners at all." He then threw the girl down to the ground leaving her sprawled across the floor on her hands and knees.

"I'll leave the two of you to get aquatinted then shall I?" Said Joshua finally, who then left again, the door slamming with a sense of doom.

By then Sam had came back to his senses and felt ashamed of himself. Trying to ignore the sound of her heart Sam crouched down and tried to reach out to the girl, but the chains weren't long enough to reach her. _That's probably a good thing_. Thought Sam.

"Hey," said Sam softly, "are you ok?" The girl was still knelt on the ground but now she was audibly sobbing and her shoulders were heaving. "Come on, it's gonna be ok, I promise. "

"How...?" A small voice moaned. "Don't make a promise you can't keep." She suddenly sounded angry and a pair of wild brown eyes stared at him. It was the first time that he had seen her face and it was clear that she had been crying for a long time, as her eyes and cheeks were red and swollen.

"I'm... I'm sorry. What's your name? Mines Sam, I would shake your hand but, as you can see, I'm a little tied up." He held his handcuffed wrists aloft as an explanation and smiled softly at her.

"It's Chloe." She said quietly. "What the hell is that guy?"

"What do you mean?" Asked Sam hesitantly, he wasn't about to give the big reveal without being sure that's what she meant.

"I mean the set of ultra sharp teeth!" She cried. Her tone made it sound as if the existence of such a creature repelled her, like she couldn't believe that something like Joshua was allowed to exist.

"He's a vampire." Sam said simply. Chloe suddenly started to chuckle, these laughs became louder and more frequent until she was laughing hysterically.

"I'm going crazy, I've got to be. This- this can't be real." She said.

"Sorry." Sam said quietly. What more could he say to her? Her world had changed inconceivably, and there was nothing he could do to change that.

Sam sank onto the ground, defeated and at a complete loss over what to do next.

They both settled into an uneasy silence, their thoughts and feelings to overwhelming to be able to try and comfort the other.

Hours passed and eventually Chloe fell asleep in the corner of the room, across from him. Sam had his head buried into his knees, the light had finally gotten to much for his sensitive eyes. Now all that accompanied him was the sound of Chloe's slow heartbeat. He wished he could tune it out, but he could not. It felt as if he had been starved for weeks, and the source of his salvation was just out of reach. But his salvation was wrong, and he could not allow himself to think that way.

Vaguely he felt himself pulling against the chains again, but still they would not budge. He was glad of them now though, as there were a literal and figurative anchor for him, stopping him from reaching not only what he wanted, but what a dark side of himself told him that he needed.

As dawn rose Sam felt himself falling asleep, and he did not resist the pull of the darkness.

* * *

"Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

Sam awoke with a start and a gasp. And swallowed down the bitter disappointment that he was still there, and he hadn't dreamt up yesterday's events.

Chloe was also awake and was staring at the doorway, in which Joshua was now stood.

"I've gotta say Sam, I'm impressed. 12 hours with the girl and you still haven't given in." Joshua said this mockingly, and certainly seemed to be enjoying himself. "Don't you love the sound of her pretty little heart racing, it sounds good doesn't it Sammy boy."

Chloe turned it look at Sam with wide eyed confusion, and a hint of repulsion.

"Please just let us go. I won't tell anyone I swear!" Chloe cried, but Sam knew there wasn't point in pleading with him, nothing was going to change the mind of this monster, the sooner Chloe accepted that, the better.

"Oh sweetheart," said Joshua condescendingly "you know that's not going to happen. There's only one way you're getting out of here, and that's dead. " the statement was said so calmly and coldly. Chloe began to cry again and Sam could hear her heart begin to beat faster. Sending an ache into his stomach, and strangely, his gums.

"Any who, Sammy I'm getting rather bored waiting around for you. So let's make this a little more interesting."

"How?" Croaked Sam. His mouth was horribly dry and ached for moisture. In general, Sam was not feeling great. At all.

"First of all Sammy, I am promising you now that if you do the deed I will let you go, no harm done to you, and most importantly your brother won't get caught in the crossfire during his crusade to save you. Secondly, I'm gonna do this..." Joshua stormed across the room and picked Chloe off the floor effortlessly.

She let out a cry of despair and struggled in his grip. Joshua grabbed hold of one of her wrists and then bit down on it with his fangs.

The scent of her fresh blood filled the room and Sam let our an involuntary moan at the intoxicating smell.

Joshua didn't drink any of her blood, he just wanted to make her bleed. He threw her back onto the ground and grinned at Sam with his fangs bared and blood dripping from his chin.

"Well that should do it. See ya soon Sammy." Joshua left the room as fast as he'd entered it. But he left Sam in a much worse position than he ever had before.

Sam's stomach was aching from hunger now and every breath that he took made him hungrier and hungrier. Through the thick fog of _blood, blood, blood. I need it, I need it._ Sam heard himself moaning underneath his breath, it was too much, he couldn't do it.

"Sam? Sam are you ok?" Asked Chloe's shaking voice, the fear was evident in her voice, and her smell. Sam shuddered as need racked through him.

"You need to stay back. " Sam choked out, his voice sounded hollow in his ears. His gums hurt so damn much now, he put his hand up to his lips and, with a sick sense of fascination, he could feel the fangs trying to push themselves out of his gums._ Oh god help me. Dean where are you?_

"Oh god, I can't do it Chloe." Cried Sam and vaguely he could feel a tear roll down his cheek.

"What do you mean? What did he want you to do to me?" She sobbed, "please I don't want to die. Sam! Help me!" Her panic was just making the flow of blood come faster from the wound on her wrist.

Her heartbeat was pounding in his ears. The smell of blood was overwhelming. He just wanted it to end. He couldn't let Dean come and suffer the same fate. He would rather die.

_What do I do?_ Was the thought that circled over and over in Sam's head.

_You know what to do_. Another answered back.

"Come here." Sam muttered quietly.

He had to accept his fate. He was too weak. But he wasn't going to let Dean get hurt for his weakness and stupidity. It was his fault he was in this mess in the first place and now he had to deal with the consequences.

"What?" Chloe asked sounding completely confused.

"Come here Chloe, I'll look after you. It's going to be ok." Sam put on his calmest and most gentle voice, despite the turmoil going on in his mind and body.

Hesitantly, Chloe moved towards him. Sam patted a space on the floor beside him and pointedly did not look at the blood dripping down her arm and on to the floor. Soon thought the bad voice in his mind, the one he couldn't ignore for much longer.

Finally she sat down beside him. The blood was so close now that Sam almost felt dizzy. _For Dean._ He thought. He also knew he was lying to himself, it was as much for Dean as it was himself. He knew he needed the blood and accepted that now.

She was seated next to him now and looked at him desperately.

"Give me your wrist." Sam commanded and held out his hands. Obligingly she put her wounded wrist into his hands.

For minutes all Sam could do was stare at it, mesmerised by the blood bubbling out of the raw flesh in her arm and starting to dribble down into his hands.

"It's going to be okay." Sam said again, but his voice sounded somehow wrong. He turned his head and looked at her exposed throat. He could see her pulse beating quickly under her skin. At this point Sam knew it was too late to turn back. There was no way he was going to be able to send her away.

Sam leant down and whispered into her ear "I'm sorry. "

Before she could react, Sam felt his second set of teeth finally push all the way through his gums, and then bit down into her tender neck. Right where the vein was.

A heavenly taste filled his mouth, better than anything he had ever tasted before, and Sam moaned in ecstasy and bit down even more. He allowed himself his first swallow of blood and god did it feel good.

Chloe screamed and started to struggle, but could not get away from the iron grip Sam had on her wrist and neck.

He was gulping down her sweet blood now in faster and faster succession. Vaguely, he registered that her struggles were starting to slow, and the sound of her heartbeat was growing fainter and fainter. But nothing mattered to him but the blood. The walls could be falling down around him for all he cared.

Instinctually, when her heart beat became almost to vague to detect any more, Sam pulled away from her neck and allowed her body to fall lifelessly to the side.

He was hyperventilating. The feeling of sheer ecstasy rocked through his body and soul, enveloping him in a feeling of utter bliss.

Sam wasn't aware of how long he sat in that same position, but eventually the feelings he encountered after feeding began to wear off.

Regardless of that, he felt so much better. His stomach no longer ached from hunger and his weakness and lethargy had disappeared. He felt strong, like he could take on anything in the world.

He turned to his right and that's when he saw her.

Chloe was slumped on the ground beside him. Her eyes were vacant and her face was bone white. The most shocking thing though was her neck, or rather the gaping wound in it.

_What have I done?_

Even though he knew that if she were alive then he would hear her heartbeat, Sam placed his fingers on the un mutilated side of her neck, searching for a pulse, for any sign of life. But there was none, he had killed her, almost torn her throat out to be precise.

Sam felt sick, and disgusted with himself. He had killed a poor, innocent girl. _I'm a monster._ He thought hollowly.

He buried his face in his hands and sobbed.

"I'm sorry." He moaned, while his shoulders heaved and the tears poured rapidly from his eyes.

Drip, drip, drip.

He could hear the rest of her blood dripping slowly on the concrete floor. The bad part of him was disappointed that he couldn't drink it. Dead mans blood he thought fleetingly. And another wave of despair rocked through him, increasing his sobs tenfold.

"I'm sorry." He cried again.

Suddenly the door slammed open, but Sam couldn't bring himself to look at Joshua's smug face. And he continued to sob and rock himself.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" He was getting hysterical now, his breathes coming out in shallow gasps.

"Oh, Sammy what have you done?" Questioned a voice.

It wasn't Joshua's voice.

Sam's head snapped up and stood in the doorway was Dean. In his hands was a bloodied machete. The blood slid down the blade and onto the floor.

Drip, drip, drip.

* * *

Well that's all folks. This is the first official story I have posted on this website. For anyone that has got this far, thank you. It would be much appreciated if you could tell me any thoughts and feelings on this, good or bad. Tell me what you liked, what you didn't. Most importantly let me know if you want more.


	2. The Winds of Change

"Sam, What the hell is going on?" Dean asked again, an edge of desperation had entered his tone. His breathing had increased exponentially, it sounded as if Sam's panic had rubbed off on him.

And could Sam expect anything else, with Dean having to walk into a room in which his brother was no doubt covered in blood. And beside him the corpse of a girl with her neck ripped open.

Dean looked tired, Sam knew it was because of him, he knew Dean had been searching for him relentlessly, just as Sam would have done for him. But Sam knew he wasn't worth it, he was a monster, maybe he always was, there was just a physical manifestation of it now.

"I didn't mean to Dean." moaned Sam. He was sure Dean hated him now. In fact Sam hoped he did,he wanted Dean to treat him like the monster he was. However, Sam knew that however much Dean may hate him, it wouldn't equal half the amount that Sam hated himself.

"Don't say that to me. Don't tell me you did this, god dammit Sam!" Dean swirled around and punched the wall in anger.

"What the hell am I supposed to do now?!" Dean had his back turned to Sam, his shoulders hunched. "That bastard out there said that he... he turned you. But I thought that you would never give in. Please, don't tell me that you did this."

Sam was glad he couldn't see Dean's face at that moment, he couldn't stand seeing Dean realise that he was a monster.

Thankfully Sam had managed to calm himself substantially, as Dean entering the room seemed to have a sobering effect on him. Instead of panic, Sam now felt a crystal clear clarity and he knew what needed to be done.

"Dean... Dean look at me!" Sam knew what he had to say had to be said to Deans face, or there would be no hope of getting him to do it. Dean turned around and fixed Sam with a heartbreaking stare, threatening to weaken Sam's resolve, but still he knew what had to be done.

"Kill me." Said Sam, looking straight into his eyes, there had to be no doubt. Deans face, if it was possible seemed to be even more pained, his eyes tightened and his mouth hardened.

"What?" Dean demanded. Dean was furious now, shaking in anger. The thought of killing his own brother no doubt sickened him, but Sam thought that his brother being a monster must be even worse to him.

"Kill me!" Sam screamed, he could feel the panic taking hold again. He knew he must look frightful, and Sam thought that perhaps he could use that to his advantage.

"I killed her Dean, I ripped her throat out. And you wanna know what the worst part is?" Sam asked, and laughed humourlessly.

Dean shook his head mutely, he didn't want to know, but he already did.

"I enjoyed it Dean! I drank from her until she was almost dead, and then I left her to die." Sam's hoped that his brutal honesty would get through to Dean, but still Dean was shaking his head. The thing Sam hated most about saying this, was not the way he could see a part of Deans heart breaking, but the way that everything that he said was true. And it made him sick.

"Dean look at me I'm a monster!"

Sam stood and spread his arms, as far as the chains still secured on his wrists would allow anyway. And for final effect he let his fangs descend. Dean had always hated looking at the gruesome teeth of vampires, he had told Sam this over and over again. Therefore Sam wanted to show Dean just what he had become.

"No..." Dean muttered, but he was staring at Sam's mouth, and he was repulsed. In fact, he looked as if he might throw up. There was a minute where Dean just stared at Sam, his face had gone completely blank, and Sam could no longer read how he was feeling. The only indicator of his behaviour Sam had left was his racing heartbeat, but that could mean anything really. Fear, anger or just stress. The minute felt as if lasted a lifetime.

"Dean, please." Sam said softly, breaking the silence. "For me, if nothing else. I hate myself,and I don't know if I can live with what I've done." It was true, and Sam knew that he would never have the guts to end himself. He felt a fresh wave of repulsion and hate of himself increase tenfold.

_I'm a coward. I shouldn't have to ask Dean to do this, but Dean has always been stronger than me. And I've always been a burden him_.

"You think that it it'll be easy for me to kill you Sam?" Dan asked desperately.

Although Sam knew that making Dean kill him would take another huge toll on his already damaged psyche,Sam decided that in the long run, Dean would be much better off.

"Please..." whispered Sam. There was nothing left to say. It was time for Dean to pick now

After another eternity of Sam and Dean staring at each other in silence, a look of steely eyed resolve took over Dean's face.

He had decided.

Dean stepped towards Sam with huge strides, there was no indecision slowing him down now.

"Sit down" He ordered, and Sam had obeyed without a moments hesitation. He was sure that Dean was going to do it, and bowed his head, exposing the back of his neck.

Sam's vision was reduced due to his hair falling over his face, and now all could stare at were his hands, which were clasped tightly in his lap.

He didn't speak, he was scared that saying anything at this point could change Dean's mind.

Sam's breathing was shallow and even. He wouldn't let himself panic, and he would not run. He would die with dignity, and not make Dean have to chase him like a monster.

He felt the blade of the machete lightly touch the back of his neck. Done in the same way an executioner would in medieval times, making sure his aim was true. But now it was Sam's head on the chopping block.

The blade still hadn't moved.

What the hell is he doing? Sam thought. Surely he should have done it by now.

He waited.

Finally, the blade moved from the back of his neck. The savage blow would come in moments, ending Sam's miserable life once and for all. He closed his eyes and stiffed his shoulders in anticipation.

The blade cut through the air in a wide arc, Sam heard the way the speed of the blow cut through the air.

It landed with a loud metallic clang.

But it did not meet the expected target.

Sam sat stock still for a moment in shock. He wasn't dead. He lifted his head, and could see Dean stood over him with the machete once again held loosely by his side.

Sam casted his eyes sideways, and discovered that, instead of the blade severing his head from his body. It had instead cut through the heavy metal chains which connected Sam to the wall.

A wave of relief washed over him like a tidal wave. He hated himself for it, but god was he glad to be alive. He felt as if he could weep in relief.

Sam wasn't sure what was going to happen next, but there was a flicker of hope. Hope that things could be ok. If Dean thought there was hope for him, then maybe there was. He felt as if perhaps this was a second chance for him.

"Come on Sam. Get up, we should go." Dean said hoarsely. He then grasped Sam by his shoulders and hauled him roughly to his feet.

They looked at each other awkwardly for a moment, Sam felt words hover at the end of his tongue, but he couldn't express them. He couldn't express his gratitude at Dean believing him, despite everything.

Neither of them spoke though. Sam hoped that his gratitude was visible on his face.

"Let's go." Said Dean. He turned suddenly, and walked rapidly to the door. Never looking back into the room where he found Sam, changed and inhuman. The room that changed their lives forever, and neither of them would ever be able to be the people they were before they entered it.

Sam walked to the doorway with the same haste that Dean had , when he reached the doorway he hesitated.

He knew he shouldn't look back, it was time to leave, to move on. But he could not allow himself to try and forget what had happened there.

He turned. The room looked larger from this perspective, less claustrophobic than it had during sam's miserable time locked up there. He glanced at the chains hanging from the wall, how much thicker they had appeared to him when he was attached to them. Finally, he looked at the thing that he did not want to. And he faced what he had to face.

Chloe's body was laid clumsily on the ground, her head was twisted at an awkward angle, and her neck looked as if it had been mauled by a wild Creature. Sam made himself look, he wanted to sear that image in his head forever. He needed to remember what he had done, if he wanted any chance of stopping himself from doing it again.

When he felt as if he had memorised every detail of the manifestation of brutal monstrosity, he turned and left the room behind for good.

Yet the bloodbath did not end in the room. In the dull corridor that branched out from it, lay the beheaded corpse of Sam's captor, Joshua. Sam certainly wasn't sad about this death, and wanted to memorise this scene for entirely different reasons.

However, despite the fact that Joshua was dead, he still had the ultimate victory over Sam and Dean, and their suffering did not end with his death. Their defeat over Joshua was a hollow one.

Dean stood at the end of the hall, looking back at him, waiting. Once Sam appeared, Dean disappeared around the corner, and he hurried to join him, eager to please. It lead on for a few more twists and turns, and Dean lead Sam out expertly, never making a false move. Sam had always admired Dean's ability to know his way around places, whereas he had always stumbled on blindly, always hoping that the way he was going was the correct way.

Finally, they reached the entrance, bright light spilling from around the edges of the door. Dean pushed it open, and Sam stumbled back from the intensity of the light. The day was bright and clear, and Sam had never wished for a dull day more than he did now.

"Sam, you coming?" Shouted Dean amidst the brightness.

Sam braced himself, and shielded his eyes as much as he could with his hands, them stepped out into the day.

By the time he managed to stumble over to Dean and the Impala his eyes were pouring, and his head ached. Distantly, he heard Dean open the car the door, and felt his hand guiding him gently into the back seat. Sam, after almost throwing himself face first into the car, curled himself into the feral position, and buried his head in his arms, not even caring that his hands were still cuffed together.

The respite from the light was instantly soothing, and his headache disappeared.

The door slammed shut, and he could hear Dean open the drivers door, sit, and then slam the next door with equal force. There was a moments silence, where all that could be heard was Dean's steady breath, then car started with the same throaty roar as always. It was a noise that Sam had known all his life, and immediately signalled that he was home and he was safe. It was reassuring to know that, however much his life may change, they were always some things he could rely on to be the same.

As the car began to move Sam let his mind drift, finding Deans steady breathing to be soothing and calming.

For at least an hour Dean drove, and Sam listened. He didn't sleep, but for that hour Sam was able to forget what had happened to him. But he knew it couldn't last.

He decided it was time to break the silence, and face the music of his situation, and with Dean. Something needed to be done, as Sam knew it wouldn't be long before the same monstrous impulses which caused him to kill Chloe, would return, and he would not be able to deny them forever.

Sam lifted his head, thankfully the day was beginning to grow darker, and lifted himself clumsily into a sitting position. At the drivers seat Dean sat stiffly, his hands had a white knuckle grip on the wheel, and he was staring blankly at the rush of cars passing them on the road.

"Dean," Sam said softly. Despite the softness, Dean jumped in surprise and whirled around in his seat to look at Sam, he looked at him sharply, then turned back around and looked back at the road.

"What's up?" Replied Dean gruffly. His grip on the steering wheel seemed even tighter than before. _He's scared of you_. A small voice in Sam's head muttered. Sam didn't want to believe that was true, they had been through so much, and he didn't think he would be able to cope if Dean hated him.

"Just, uh, wondering where we're headed." Sam's voice was quiet, almost as if he was trying not to startle Dean. He didn't want Dean to think he was pushing his luck either, he had to show how grateful he was, and if that meant being as compliant as possible, then so be it.

" I figured we'd get the hell out of there as fast we could, head to the Men of Letters base, then decide what to do next when we get there." Dean replied. His tone implied that there would be no debate on this matter.

"Uh... Yeah great. But shouldn't we, I mean, isn't there things that we, or er I, might need." Sam's speech was slow and hesitant. Sam really didn't want to bring up the fact that he would need blood, knowing how much it would disgust Dean, but unfortunately it was unavoidable.

"What?" Asked Dean distractedly, there was a moments pause then he said, "Oh, oh right. Sure Sam. I'll make sure I get what you need." He sounded so awkward about it, and Sam cringed in embarrassment and shame. He didn't want Dean to have to do things like that for him, but on the other hand, he really didn't trust himself in the company of people for now, or maybe even forever.

"Thanks." He muttered, and again the car sunk into silence.

More time passed, and then finally the car stopped outside a hospital. From all sides Sam could hear a buzz of activity, the sound of sirens blaring, people bustling to and fro, the sound of humanity.

What stood out most to Sam was the extra heartbeats he could hear, the ambulance drivers' racing hearts, the slow and weak heart beat of the patient they where wheeling in, and the steady heart beats of a young couple leaving arm and arm from the hospital.

Sam stared at them, and a pang of hunger struck him suddenly and painfully.

Dean coughed, and Sam jumped in his seat and turned. Dean was looking at him, his expression was pained, and Sam realised that he'd saw him looking. He felt extremely embarrassed and ashamed at once.

"Right, so I'm gonna go in there, you think you can manage to stay put for five minutes?" Dean asked awkwardly but with a softness still. Dean knew as well as Sam did that he could not be trusted to go in there, but the way he said it was almost guilty. What Dean could for feel guilty for Sam had no idea, perhaps it was just pity.

Sam reached upwards to stretch lazily, but was abruptly reminded of the heavy cuffs; which still bound his hands together.

"Hey, could you help me take these off before you go?" Asked Sam sheepishly. Dean suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"Uh, why don't I do it when I get back? We don't want to be loitering out here too long, it might look suspicious." He answered as if he was stupid for even asking. And now that Dean said it, he did feel a little foolish, of course it wasn't the time to undo them.

But it was a little strange to Sam how Dean hadn't attempted or mentioned taking them off the whole time from the room to now. Of course Sam understood that Dean's plan was to get them out of there as quickly as possible, there was no fault in that. But still something seemed off about it.

Sam nodded distractedly. Dean gave a small smile in relief, then hurriedly exited the car. After the door closed, Sam watched Dean walk towards the trunk, open it, then a minute later he slammed it closed and walked towards the side of the hospital with a duffel bag in hand.

While Dean was gone Sam watched the world go by. He saw the young, old, sick, weak and healthy. And suddenly he felt jealous. He was never going to get a day older than he was yesterday, he was now unchanging and unmoving. He would never feel the pains that he used to, and would certainly never be a patient in a hospital again. Sam had not really had the chance before this to come to the truths of his situation until now.

And it was a shock. And Sam wanted to give himself to the wave of panic and hysteria that was threatening to rise, the same way it did after he realised what he had done to Chloe. But this time he couldn't lose himself to it, he needed to stay strong for Dean, he wouldn't let himself become an even bigger burden. He had to remain normal and calm.

About ten minutes later Sam heard the distinctive sound of Dean walking towards the Impala, something that he recognised before he was a vampire, his increased senses just elevated it. Dean threw the bulkier and heavier duffel into the trunk and slammed it shut.

"Hey Sam," said Dean as he re-entered the car. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah." Replied softly. Once again the car jolted to a start, heading to the only place, apart from the Impala, that the Winchesters could call home.

Sam didn't know what was going to happen to him or Dean, but one thing he knew was that whatever was coming, they could handle it as long as they stayed together, united and strong.

* * *

Ok that's it again. Firstly thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, favourited and followed.

Secondly, I'm sorry it took a while to do, but here is more, whether it was worth the wait is for you to decide.

Thirdly, like last time please let me know if you want more. What you liked, and what you didn't.

Till next time =]


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